The world is wayyyy too complicated…

April 8, 2010 § Leave a comment

Here’s an article that I stumbled upon on my Google Reader today about what to do when faced with many of life’s difficult decisions.

This article is sooo relevant to what I’ve been thinking so much about lately: what in the heck am I going to do once I leave this humble and safe abode of college life? After I graduate, it’s me vs. the big, merciless world. For example, the left-brain vs right-brain situation that Leo talks about in this article. I think thus far I’ve been relying on my left brain too much. Sure, I loved biology when I was in high school, but now I’m not so sure. I am only doing research for research’s sake, to show my parents and my professors that I’m working towards a goal, to show my peers that I am a biophile as I’ve declared myself. Everyone expects me to do something great out of biology. Well, I am at Harvey Mudd, people expect great things from Mudd graduates. It just seems to be the “right path” for me to pursue the road of science.

So…doing the little exericise as mentioned in the article, I will try to figure out my life…maybe?

1. Anger: what makes me angry?

  • Um…as of this point I can’t really think of anything…
  • People leaving dirty dishes out?
  • People not cleaning after themselves?

2. Fear: what do I fear?

  • Not knowing what to do after college
  • Disappointing my parents, peers, professors, and myself
  • Doing poorly in my biology classes, which makes me feel very stupid compared to my peers
  • That my professors think I’m very stupid, and that I don’t belong at Mudd
  • Harm on my family

3. Freedom: what makes me experience joy and pleasure?

  • Doing yoga
  • Exercising
  • Cooking up and preparing healthy foods that are tasty
  • Baking for other people
  • Perusing recipes
  • Learning about how to eat healthfully to benefit the body, mind, and soul
  • Enjoying walks in the quietude or morning or dusk
  • Being with Dmitri 🙂

So here comes the million dollar question: what does this tell me about myself?

Well first off, I can see that my self-esteem regarding biology has declined. Is it because I’m in this challenging and competitive school? Or is it really my interest that is failing me? Secondly, I’m all over the yoga + healthy eating thing. Maybe I should be a yoga teacher + nutritionist?

Some food for thought, maybe.

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